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What Could You Do With a Taser Gun?

Posted by shaun832 on August 6, 2008

The taser gun. With one squeeze of a trigger, you can zap anyone or anything and cause possible permanent damage. How awesome would that be? This is a list of the things you would do if you had a taser gun.

1. Protection – You are walking down the street, minding your own business. Suddenly, a guy comes out of nowhere, holding a lead pipe demanding your money. What do you do? Pull out a taser gun and demand HIS money! Warning, do not use on a mugger holding a gun. The electric shock will cause his hand to constrict causing the trigger of the gun to be squeezed. Do not fire unless you have a death wish!

2. Long Queues – Don’t you just hate those long, annoying queues? Don’t you just want to have some kind of way to shorten up the line at the squeeze of a trigger? The taser gun can do that. I am not at all responsible for any legal action that might be filed against you. Use at your own risk!

3. Home Cooking – There is a cold, raw chicken sitting on your kitchen bench. Gross. It needs to be cooked. The ovens broken. What do you do? Whip out your trusty taser gun and fry it! Warning, do not handle the chicken as it is being fried. A very unpleasant death awaits you.

4. Settling an Argument – Does someone not agree with what you are saying? Point the gun at them and they will. Warning, if you got your hands on a taser gun, chances are you ‘buddy’ has one as well. Take care when choosing someone to pick an argument with!

5. Blackouts – The lights go out. Don’t worry because you have your taser with you. Pull a light globe out from the roof or a nearby lamp and shoot the taser at the bottom of it. There, instant light. Warning, there is no light so be careful where you point the gun.

There are five things you could do if you can get your hands on a taser gun. Have fun. Also, item 3 and 5 might be against the basic laws of physics but have fun trying. Again, I am not responsible for any injuries or deaths caused by this list.

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